


Buck Deserves Good Things

by Miamici13



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Family, Family Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miamici13/pseuds/Miamici13
Summary: Evan "Buck" Buckley deserves the world. Eddie Diaz is going to make sure he knows it. A look into Buck's head. Full of angst and Buck can't catch a break, but Eddie's there.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 86
Kudos: 341





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy! Leave a comment and let me know any suggestions you have! I don't know exactly where this is going (though I have an idea) so if you want to see anything specific between them let me know and I can try to make it happen!

Buck finds himself at the Diaz family’s dinner table on Sunday night. Pepa is chattering with her sister, Eddie’s Abuela, while they bring the food to the table. Chris is seated between Eddie and Buck, and he’s laughing joyously. Buck looks forward to these nights. They’ll eat dinner at Abuela’s, then bring Chris home and read to him together. He’ll beg for one more book, and Eddie will say no, but Buck will plead with him too, and of course Eddie will give in. And then Chris’ll start snoring quietly before they even end the book, and both men will kiss Chris on the forehead before leaving. Buck loves Sunday nights. 

This Sunday is no different, and dinner is spent with teasing and laughter and Buck loves the twinkle in Abuela’s eye when he washes the dishes with her, listening to stories of Eddie’s childhood. He feels a longing in his heart when it’s time to leave, but he grins, remembering the soft night ahead of him. 

The men tuck Christopher in, and tonight Chris chooses Buck to snuggle against. The twin bed is small and they don’t really fit, but they make it work, Buck and Eddie’s heads only inches apart. Chris wriggles into Buck’s side, and Buck’s chest is so tight he can barely breathe. He loves this kid more than he imagined he could ever love someone. Buck doesn’t really know much that’s stable in his life. The only thing Buck knows for certain is that he’s fallen in love hard with Christopher Michael Diaz, and there is no coming back from that. 

When they finish the book, Buck kisses Christopher’s head before methodically and gently climbing out of Chris’ grasp. Eddie runs a loving hand through Christopher’s hair, and smiles softly at Buck before flicking off the light switch. 

The two get out to the living room, and Buck is immediately in the fridge, pulling out two beers. Buck notices that there’s blackberries in there, and Buck knows that the Diaz boys hate blackberries. However, blackberries remind Buck of the time spent at his grandfather’s house when he was little, hands purple by the end of the day from smashed blackberries. Buck loves blackberries. Could Eddie have bought them for him? The idea makes Buck’s stomach lurch, but he pushes it away. There’s no way someone would do something like that for him. 

“What are you in the mood for?” Eddie has the remote in his hand, and he’s flipping through channels. “Wanna watch Iron Man?” He asks, and doesn’t really even need to hear the response before he’s clicking it on. It doesn’t matter what they watch, in the end, because they both know they’ll spend most of the movie talking. Buck plops himself onto the couch, and Eddie sits next to him. The younger man tries and fails at keeping his heart rate steady, Eddie’s shoulder pressed against his. 

“I talked to Maddie.” Eddie tells Buck, and, is that nervousness in Eddie’s voice? Suddenly, Buck turns in to face the dark haired man, and feels his throat tighten. This is it. Maddie told Eddie something that’s made Eddie not like Buck as much anymore. He’s not going to want to be Buck’s best friend anymore. “She um, she mentioned that you told her you were lonely.”

“I didn’t say I was lonely.” Buck defends, and his voice comes out much hoarser than he had wanted or anticipated. “I said that I didn’t want to end my life alone.” Buck tells him, and he watches as Eddie’s dark brown eyes flick down from Buck’s eyes to his lips and then back up. Suddenly Buck’s neck is heating up, and he breaks Eddie’s gaze, unable to look at him. 

“I was surprised when she said that.” Eddie admits, and Buck’s face twists in confusion. How was it not obvious to Eddie that everyone at the 118 had a spouse or a child except for Buck? Buck thinks he may be imagining things, because Eddie looks like he may be hurt. “I thought…” Eddie trails off, humming one note to himself and swallowing thickly. “I thought you knew, I thought we were on the same page.” Buck is now officially confused. Watching Eddie for any clues as to what Eddie is talking about, Buck’s blue eyes flit across his face. His confusion quickly turns to embarrassment as his eyes begin to fill with tears. Buck can’t do this today. He can’t lose his best friend. 

“Listen, Eddie, I’m sorry.” Buck doesn’t know what he’s sorry for, but he is. Whatever he’s done to make Eddie upset, he’s sorry for, whether it was on purpose or not. He needs Eddie to know that. Eddie is the best friend he’s ever had, and his soul aches at the idea of Eddie no longer in his life. “I can change. Just tell me what I did wrong, and I’ll fix it.” If Buck had more time to think about it, maybe he’d be slightly more reserved and less frantic, but in the moment Buck can’t think of anything but his panic. Buck can’t read Eddie’s face right now. He can always read Eddie’s face. With one look, he knows what’s running through Eddie’s brain, but not right now. 

“Buck,” Eddie’s tone of voice gives it away. Pity. He feels pity for Buck.

“Please, I’m sorry.” Buck’s on his feet before he knows what’s happening, and Eddie is following within a millisecond. For a man who stands six three, Buck looks _small._ “I didn’t mean to. I promise. I didn’t-”

“Buck,” Eddie starts again, soft and kind, but Buck knows. Eddie’s ending their friendship here and now. 

“Whatever Maddie said, I can work it out. We can, I can fix it. Eddie, please, I’ll change. You’re my best friend and-” 

“ _Evan._ ” This startles Buck. The name across Eddie’s lips is new and somehow feels like home. Buck feels tears freely start to flow. He can’t let his friend feel like home now. He needs to pack up and move on. Eddie’s done with him. Buck had known the day would come, and now he feels stupid that he had let Eddie entangle in so much of his life. Because now, now he feels shattered. “Evan, my love. Stop.” Buck lets out a strangled sob. Does Eddie know what he’s doing to him? This is twisted at this point. Eddie must know that Buck, somewhere along the line- Buck’s fallen in love with Edmundo Raphael Diaz. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck starts, and feels Eddie’s fingertips on his shoulder, his thumb digging into the flesh at the base of Buck’s neck. Eddie’s fingers feel like fire. Buck can’t help it, and he recoils back at the touch, drawing his arms into himself.

“Let me talk, Evan.” Immediately, like a child who has been chastised, Buck stops talking. His eyes fall to the floor, his head falling downward. Buck feels a hand under his chin, and he doesn’t even realize what’s happened until blue eyes meet brown. Eddie has lifted Buck’s face to look at his. Eddie’s hand curls around Buck’s cheek, and Buck can’t help but lean into his palm. “I was surprised, when Maddie said that you felt alone.” Eddie tells him. “I was surprised, because I thought… I thought you knew. I thought, me, and you and Christopher- I want you to tell me if I’ve read this all wrong. I thought me and Chris were your family.” Buck is flooded with relief. Eddie’s not ending their friendship. 

“Eddie, of course you and Chris are my family. I’m sorry it seemed like I didn’t think of you that way.” Buck tells him, and he physically feels the blood leaving his face and his cheeks lose their pink tint from crying. Eddie’s not going anywhere. “I just… I want a unit of my own. I want to get married, Eds. I want kids. I want something that _mine_ , and only mine.” Buck’s almost in a whisper by the end of it. It feels vulnerable. 

“That’s the thing, Evan. I thought we were only yours.” Eddie tells him, and Buck’s brain short circuits. Eddie can’t mean what Buck thinks he means. There’s no way. “I want you to see something.” And then Buck’s hand is in Eddie’s. They’ve held hands before, briefly, at work. When Buck pulled Eddie out of a burning room. When Eddie’s lifted Buck from a rubble pile. But it’s never felt like this. It’s never felt like they just _fit._

Eddie leads Buck into the kitchen, and lets go of his hand to rummage through a drawer. Buck immediately feels the absence, and wraps his hand into a fist by his side. Eddie hands Buck a small pile of papers.

**How adoption in America works.**

**Where to be adopted**

**Can a kid have two dads?**

“What is this?” Buck asks, brow burrowed, and Eddie leans back against the counter. 

“Chris gave them to me last week.” Eddie tells him. “He’s been doing research. I told him he’d scare you off if he gave them to you now. I told him we’d visit it in a few weeks.” Eddie adds, and Buck is still lost. Confusion must be evident on Buck’s face, because Eddie continues. “Christopher wants you to adopt him, Buck.”

Buck’s shaking. He’s flooded with the most emotions he’s ever felt in his life. His stomach is filled with butterflies and his chest is filled with love that physically feels like it’s squeezing his heart. Buck almost wants to laugh with how much he loves that kid. The moment is gone as quick as it comes, when he realizes that _this_ is why Eddie must be mad. Of course he’s mad. 

“Eddie, I would never- I’ll talk to him. I love him. I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped. I was just trying to show how much I love him, I’ve never been very good at it. I guess I was too strong.” Buck admits, wrapping his arms around himself. If Buck could wish himself away, he’d disappear this very moment. 

“Buck, I don’t want you to talk to him about not being his dad.” Eddie tells him, and of course. Buck’s probably not going to be allowed to talk to Chris anymore. “Jesus, Evan. I’m putting myself out here right now. I need you to let me in a little, just to see what I’m trying to say. You deserve good things, Evan. You’re breaking my heart right now, man.”

Buck officially does not know what to do. He’s so confused and Eddie’s looking at him expectantly, and Buck can’t even muster up words. They stand in silence for a moment before Eddie reaches out, pulling Buck close to him. Buck can’t breathe. 

“I guess I need to spell it out for you.” Eddie murmurs, and Buck nods, sheepishly. “Evan Buckley, I am so fucking in love with you it _hurts,_ and I thought you were in love with me, too.” 

“Are you- are you sure?” Buck asks, and Eddie can’t help the startling laugh that bubbles through him.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my whole life. Besides Chris. I read the situation wrong, and that’s on me. I thought you just weren’t ready to be physical and I wasn’t going to push that. Evan, I thought we’ve been together for months. I just want to know if, if I was completely off. I need to know how you feel.” Eddie says, stroking the remaining few tears on Buck’s face away, and Buck’s eyes flutter closed while he thinks. Eddie isn’t wrong. They’ve been- they’ve been coexisting as one for the past few months. Buck didn’t know that it was even remotely a possibility. He thought that Eddie was straight. Eddie had never expressed any sort of romantic feeling towards men or brought up any guys from his past. Buck had hoped. God, he had hoped. But he wasn’t going to let himself get hurt.

“Eddie,” Buck whispers, and it’s the most tender moment he’s ever had. He almost feels embarrassed. “I didn’t know, Eds. I thought- I had hoped, and I- I could’ve lived with it, you know. Hiding my feelings. I didn’t want to lose you and Chris so I was prepared to-” Buck stumbles through his words, but Eddie nods as if he knows exactly what Buck was trying to say. 

“Just, I’m not completely off base, right, Buck?” Eddie asks, and Buck shakes his head.

“God, no. I’m in love with you. You and Chris, I just didn’t think I could have you. I put it out of my head because I, I couldn’t stand that pain. Losing you guys would break me, Eddie. I’m already pretty broken.” The admission makes Eddie pull Buck into his chest, wrapping his arms around the taller man. 

“I love you. I will always be here to put you back together, if you’ll let me. I’ve always got your back.” Eddie tells him, and Buck lets a raw sob rip through him. “I need to make sure though, Evan. I don’t half ass things, and especially not this. I need to know you’re in this for the long haul.” 

“As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.” Buck tells him, and it’s such a Buck thing to say. Like Eddie would wake up at any given moment and decide he no longer wanted Buck. 

“I want you forever, Evan.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Let me know any comments or suggestions you have. I love seeing the comments!

They don’t kiss at all that night. Instead, after their conversation, Eddie grabs Buck’s hand, and says “Let’s go to bed.” Buck has dreamed of Eddie saying that to him in many different circumstances. In Buck’s head, it’d be through heated kisses and there’d probably be way less clothing and way more alcohol. But this is better. This is filled with love and meaning and Buck feels  _ safe. _

Eddie pulls a pair of shorts out of his dresser and hands them to Buck. Right away, Buck notices that they’re his own. It just shows how much time Buck has spent at the Diaz residence, and it makes him feel like maybe he belongs there. 

The older man crawls into bed and Buck is right there after him, shyly curling up in Eddie’s arms and relishing in his scent when Eddie lays his cheek on the top of Buck’s head. Eddie’s fingers run up and down Buck’s arm, and this is what love feels like. 

Buck’s never been in love before. Buck has had love in his life before, but he’s never been in love with anyone. Evan Buckley has known he was gay since he was fourteen years old. After a mishap with Buck’s dad finding him and Roger Stonewall kissing in the tenth grade, Buck’s only dated women. And he tried to fall in love with them. Their skin was soft and their lips were plump and he had sex  _ all the time _ praying that one day he’d decide that he loved it. It was okay- it felt fine and met his needs, but he never felt the electricity he felt with Roger. When he met Abby, he thought  _ this is it. I can love this woman forever.  _ And he did love Abby. He loved her determination and care for her mother. He loved how fun she was and how gorgeous she was. Their sex was great, and it was the best he had ever felt with a woman. He could do it. He’d live a just fine life with her. 

But then she left. And in walked Edmundo Diaz, and just like that, everything Buck had worked so hard to suppress was right back on the surface. Because Eddie Diaz was the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on, and Buck  _ knew _ that he’d spend the rest of his life doing whatever he could to make Eddie happy. Then he met Chris. And Buck knew he’d die for that little boy. He pushed through it. He couldn’t show Eddie how much he loved him, but he could show Chris, and he did just that. 

And now Buck can show and tell Eddie how much he loves him anytime he wants. Laying in Eddie’s arms, Buck could cry at how much he loves Eddie. Buck had always been afraid to show who he truly was, and that was instilled into him by his father. But now Buck had something that was worth letting people into that part of him, which was scary, but he’d do it. He wanted the world to know Eddie Diaz was his. At the same time, he wanted Eddie and Christopher and him to live in this bubble of happiness forever, just the three of them. 

“I don’t want to tell anyone, yet.” Buck says, and Eddie stills slightly beside him.

“I know, it’s um, a big thing. Dating a guy. I haven’t, either.” Eddie tells him, and Buck shakes his head. 

“That’s not why. I just, I want this to be  _ ours. _ I don’t want anyone else’s opinion involved.” Buck says, and Eddie gets it.

“We don’t need to tell anyone, Querido.”

“Just Chris.” Buck murmurs, already falling asleep against Eddie’s chest, and feels Eddie smile against his hair. 

“Just Chris.” Eddie agrees, and lets Buck’s soft snores lull him to sleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sleep leaves as soon as it came, a nine year old sized lump thumping onto the bed. 

“Bucky, you stayed!” Christopher sounds overjoyed, and Eddie and Buck untangle just enough to pull Christopher between them. Sleepily, Buck flashes Chris a smile.

“I did, Little Man. Want breakfast?” Buck asks, and Eddie groans.

“It’s too early to get up, It’s Sunday.” He complains, and Buck presses a kiss to both of his boy’s heads with a chuckle.

“Okay, come on then Superman, let’s let Dad sleep some more. You can help me make the pancakes, I’ll let you lick the spoon.” Buck says, as if it’s their secret, pulling Chris to his feet. Chris snickers and then shouts in glee at the idea of pancakes. Eddie can’t cook to save his life, and Chris waits all week for Sunday morning pancakes. 

When Buck and Chris get to the kitchen, Buck helps Christopher up onto the counter, working around the kitchen to get what’s needed for pancakes. 

“Blueberry or chocolate chip?” Buck asks, and he laughs at the look of disgust he’s met with. “Of course, chocolate chip.” The man makes a face, and Christopher grins at him. “Bacon or sausage?” Christopher pretends to think for a while. Buck thinks maybe he actually is deep in thought, because bacon versus sausage honestly is a hard decision. 

“Bacon.” Chris tells him, and Buck already has the bacon out, knowing that was most likely what Christopher was going to say. “You should cook all our meals, Buck. Dad burns even chicken nuggets.” Chris says, and at that moment walks in, feigning hurt. 

“Christopher Michael, I am a chef.” Eddie teases him, pressing a sloppy kiss to Chris’ cheek and then Buck’s, smiling as the tips of Buck’s ears grow red. 

“Don’t worry Chris, I won’t let you starve anymore.” Buck says, and Chris cheers, taking a batter filled spoon Buck hands him and then licking it. “We should go grocery shopping today so I have stuff to make dinner this week.” Buck suggests, and then seems to realize how easily he’s said it, turning to Eddie. “If that’s okay.” He adds, and watches Eddie as he steals a chocolate chip from the bag.

“Of course, carino.” Eddie says, Buck smiling to himself at the pet name, and Christopher looks between Eddie and Buck.

“Bucky, dad called you ‘darling.’” Christopher says, seemingly amused at the two men. “I think he likes you.” Christopher pretends to whisper. The adults in the room share a look, before Eddie speaks up.

“Actually Chris, I do like him. I really love him, actually.” Eddie tells Chris, and Christopher smiles. 

“I know, Dad. Don’t worry, he loves us too. Right, Buck?”

“With my heart and soul, Little Man.” Buck assures him, and Christopher doesn’t require more of an explanation. 

“Just let me know when it’s safe to give him those papers.” Christopher tells Eddie, referring to the research he had done on adoption. Eddie had suggested they wait until they could talk to Buck more about it, and Christopher had huffed but agreed. Both Eddie and Buck laugh at the bright little boy. 

“That’s a big decision for Buck. We don’t want to just spring anything on him.” Eddie tells Chris, and Buck nods, but inside Buck knows he doesn’t need to discuss anything. If Eddie were to hand him those papers right now over the cooking pancakes, Buck would sign them. 

“Why, Buck. Don’t you want to be my dad?” Christopher asks, and Buck’s whole body feels engulfed in love.

“More than anything, Chris.” Buck answers honestly, and sees Eddie trying not to smile out of the corner of his eye. 

“So what’s the issue?” Chris asks blatantly, and neither men really have a good answer. “Do you want to adopt me, Bucky?” He presses more, and Buck and Eddie meet eyes. Eddie nods towards Christopher, a silent  _ Go ahead. _ Buck stops what he is doing to put his hands on Christopher’s knees, looking him straight in the eye. 

“I would be honored to adopt you, Christopher Diaz.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter! Gotta add some drama. Please keep the comments coming! xo.

Nothing really changes at the station. Buck supposes this is because Eddie was right, they’ve been doing this thing for  _ months _ . The team doesn’t seem to notice or at least make any sort of fuss that Buck and Eddie ride into work together more now. There are still light teasings, but Buck’s used to that. In fact, he kind of loves it. When Hen asks Buck where his husband is when Eddie’s late to work, Buck tries not to look affected when he tells Hen that Eddie’s at a doctor’s appointment. The truth is, the idea of Eddie being his husband makes his heart disco dance in his chest. For the first time ever, Buck notices himself being excited for the day that he can call Eddie his husband instead of pushing the longing away. When Chim teases them for date night after hearing their plans for a Friday, Buck just shrugs at him, because that’s exactly what it is. The fire bell rings before Chim can question him anymore, and Eddie is by Buck’s side in an instant, nudging him with his shoulder before the two run to the truck. 

Eddie has always had his back at work. Buck realizes now that Eddie has always been fiercely protective of him, and that’s a nice feeling. Whenever there’s a dangerous situation and Buck’s at risk, Eddie is always there to be the one to pull him out. Eddie’s hand outstretched is what Buck can count on after a rescue. Buck hopes that Eddie knows that Buck always has his back, too. 

They’re on a call when it happens. It seems like a normal enough car accident. Just bad enough to require the fire department to come and break a door to get the man out, it’s clear that everyone involved is going to be okay. Buck is there with the jaws of life, ripping into the door and the roof. When Buck reaches out to grab the man, Eddie close behind, the team takes notice when Buck stops and hops back like he’s been scalded with boiling water. All eyes suddenly on Buck, the young man can’t seem to care that everyone is looking. Buck is starting to shut down. With a silent nod from Bobby, Eddie is gripping Buck’s shoulders in less than a second, trying to assess him. Is he hurt? As the rest of the team pulls the older man from the car, Buck and the guy make eye contact.

“Dad?” Buck squawks, and the man grins, but it doesn’t really look happy. In all honesty, it makes Eddie’s stomach churn. 

“Surprise?” The man asks as they load him onto a stretcher. The man, whom Eddie now knows is Richard Buckley, is strikingly handsome, with blue eyes that match his son’s and thick, white hair that’s neatly in place even after the accident. The team is trying their best to seem unaffected, and Buck is silently thanking them for that. Before he can stop it, Buck is leaning over, emptying the content of his stomach right there onto the sidewalk. Eddie rubs Buck’s back, suddenly not caring who is around them. No one knows much about Evan Buckley’s childhood, but everyone knows it wasn’t a great one. Hen and Chim close the back of the ambulance doors and Hen almost looks embarrassed that she has to transport the man to the hospital. 

“Hey, baby.” Eddie murmurs when it’s time for them to get back in the truck. “We’ve gotta go back to the station. I’m right here, okay?” Buck knows Eddie is handling him with kid gloves. It’s the same way he’s heard Eddie talk to Christopher after the boy wakes up from a nightmare. Buck would normally be annoyed, but right now, he appreciates it. “We’ll change and then head home. We can talk it all out, as much or as little as you want, alright?” Eddie assures him, and Buck feels warm. Home. As in one home. One place for both of them to live and love. It gives him a moment of safety before Buck remembers the situation. 

The ride back to the station is a blur, but Buck knows it was silent. The minute they get to the firehouse, Bobby is ordering that Buck and Eddie take the rest of the day off, and it’s unspoken that Bobby is probably going to make them take tomorrow off, too. Buck is grateful. Not much truly flusters Evan Buckley, but Buck is  _ rattled. _ He tries not to think about the fact that the team is most likely talking about him as he climbs into Eddie’s truck. 

When they get to the Diaz home, Buck wants to go straight to the shower. He wants to scrub any ounce of skin that’s shared the same air as Richard Buckley. Within seconds, Buck is in the large shower, basking in the warm water. When Buck hears the curtain open, he closes his eyes and immediately backs into the body now behind him, feeling Eddie kiss his shoulder. It’s not expectant. There’s nothing sexual about it, just one man comforting his partner. Eddie kisses the nape of his neck before Buck feels Eddie’s fingertips scratching along his scalp, massaging in shampoo that smells like oranges and mint and  _ Eddie. _ Buck can’t help the whimper that comes out, and if the situation were different he’d probably feel self conscious. It’s by far the most intimate moment Buck’s ever had with anyone, but Buck can’t be bothered to think too much into it. Instead, he revels in it. 

He lets Eddie wash his hair out and massage soap into his skin. As Eddie’s hands travel across Buck’s back muscles and down his arms, Buck shivers even though the water is scorching hot. Buck suddenly is filled with desire, and finds himself turning around to face Eddie. Leaning down before he can even think about it, Buck goes to connect their lips, but Eddie turns his head and Buck lets his mouth fall open, the water dripping down his face. 

“Not yet.” Eddie tells him. “I don’t want this to be our first kiss.” Eddie adds, before Buck can feel hurt, and Buck gets it, but  _ god _ he wants it. “Let me just take care of you right now. I don’t want our first kiss to be when you’re upset.” Buck wants to correct him. He wants to tell him that he isn’t upset. That he’s fine. That seeing his father hasn’t bothered him. But he’d be lying. Seeing Richard Buckley again after all of these years has Buck spinning. Suddenly, the safety that Buck had finally begun to feel is shattered. His father clearly knows where he is, where he lives, and though Buck doubts his father would seriously hurt him, Buck doesn’t know for sure. The very thought leaves Buck trembling. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, soft and comforting, feeling Buck begin to tremor under his touch. “I’ve got you, Evan.” He tells him, and Buck feels stupid. Buck’s been a giant baby the past few weeks, and he hates how weak he looks. How weak he is, quite frankly. “Come on,” Eddie turns the water off and Buck immediately misses the steam. “Chris will be home soon, do you want to go lay in bed for the night?” That’s the last thing Buck wants to do. Buck wants to cradle Christopher in his arms and never let him go. 

“No.” Buck says firmly, and Eddie understands. He, too, after long and hard days looks forward to when he can relax with Chris, playing games and eating dinner together. Chris can make him laugh even in his darkest moods. Honestly, it warms his heart that Buck feels the same way. 

Buck pulls on the warm cotton t-shirt that was resting on the shelf and a pair of his sweatpants. Eddie is dressing next to him, and Buck grins when he sees Eddie slide into one of his old LAFD shirts, ‘BUCKLEY’ splayed across Eddie’s back. It makes his stomach feel funny. Eddie Buckley. The idea is a crazy one, that just a few days ago Buck would’ve said would never happen. Now, it’s not wild to imagine the two sharing a last name. Although, Buck supposes, Eddie Buckley probably never will happen. Buck knows with all of his heart, if Eddie agrees, Buck wants to be Evan Diaz. He can’t wait to drop the ‘Buckley’ and everything that is attached to it. The Diaz family is a close, tight knit one, and it actually  _ means _ something to be a Diaz. It means to be kind and welcoming and a family. Buck gets a little misty eyed while thinking about officially being a part of it. 

When Eddie slides his hand in Buck’s, the taller man is brought back to reality and flashes a smile, a silent ‘thank you,’ at Eddie, who simply grins back and leads Buck into the kitchen, where Eddie starts pulling take out menus from an envelope in a drawer. 

“Pizza or chinese?” He asks Buck, who makes a face at him.

“I can still cook.” Buck says, wanting Eddie to know that he’s at least still good for  _ something _ , and Eddie laughs. 

“I know, Buck. I just figured you wouldn’t want to. I’m not doubting your ability to handle yourself.” Eddie tells him, and Buck feels better at the confirmation that Eddie doesn’t think he’s incapable of being an adult. 

“I’d like to. If you want. Someone’s gotta feed Chris something nutritious around here.” Buck teases, a real, light comment, and watches as Eddie deciphers within a millisecond if he’s just pretending to be alright or not, and then smiles when he decides that Buck must be feeling slightly better.

“Look at you, all responsible and stuff.” Eddie jokes back, and Buck sticks a tongue out, digging in the fridge for ingredients. He pulls out things that Eddie can’t quite piece together how they’ll go with one another, but Eddie knows Buck will make something delicious. Buck has told him that when he first got to the station, he was living off of Hot Pockets and the sandwich place down the road, but Bobby took it upon himself to teach Buck to cook. And boy, did Buck learn to cook. Eddie knows that Buck liked spending time with Bobby more than he did learning to cook, Buck desperate to share a common interest with the older man, but it turns out Buck did begin to really enjoy it, and he was really, really good at it. It sort of became Buck’s love language. Cranberry muffins, Hen’s favorite, would appear at the station after Hen mentioned she and Karen had a fight. Pasta and homemade meatballs would be made by Buck on Tuesday nights at Chim’s shift, and Eddie is sure the fact that Buck knew Chim had therapy on Tuesday afternoons and loved his pasta and meatballs was not coincidental. And Shannon. When Shannon died, Buck showed up at the Diaz house every night for two weeks with home cooked meals. Eddie tries not to look back at those few weeks, but when he does, he remembers Buck being there every night, food in hand. 

“What’s got you so deep in thought there, Ed?” Buck asks, chopping up vegetables on a cutting board and dropping them into a sizzling pan.

“Just thinking about your cooking skills. You’re so good at it. Thinking about how me and Chris would probably starve without you.” Eddie tells him, sincere, and he kind of loves how he can watch the back of Buck’s neck turn red. 

“You managed for years without me.” Buck fires back, clearly uncomfortable with the blatant compliment and the deeper, rooted meaning, the one that says ‘we need you here with us.’ Before Eddie can say anything else, the door swings open and Carla and Chris enter.

“Daddy!” Chris exclaims, seeing Eddie at the table. When he makes it far enough into the kitchen and sees his favorite person at the stove, he cheerfully adds, “And Buck!” 

“How was your day, mijo?” Eddie asks him, pulling him tight against his chest and peppering his faces with kisses. Chris laughs and makes a dramatic scene of wiping them off his face, but Eddie and Buck both know Chris secretly loves getting affection. “Were you good for Carla?” Eddie follows the first question, meeting Carla’s glimmering eyes. 

“Of course he was.” Carla answers for Christopher. “It smells amazing in here, Buck.” She peers over Buck’s shoulders to see what he’s making. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner? There’s more than enough.” Buck offers, and Carla places a kind and motherly hand on his arm. 

“I would love to, but I’ll leave you all to your family time.” Carla means it, but she’s smirking, and Buck knows that she’s caught them. Either that, or Chris has ratted them out as being together. 

She’s already grabbing her bag off the kitchen table and ruffling Chris’ hair in a goodbye, so Buck doesn’t fight her. Plus, he secretly is honestly longing for family time with Eddie and Christopher. 

“We love you!” Eddie calls to her as she’s walking out the door, and all three boys share matching grins when she yells the sentiment back to them. 

Chris starts pulling schoolwork out of his school bag and then begins on his homework. Buck puts the pan in the oven and goes to sit beside Christopher to help him with his work while the meal cooks. It’s so domestic that it makes Buck want to run, but he talks himself through it.  _ You deserve this _ . He tells himself.  _ They love you and want you here. _ He lets it echo through his head a few times before he can finally swallow the large lump in his throat. 

“Are you two going to come to the art show?” Christopher looks at them expectantly, and with those chocolate brown puppy eyes directed at him, Buck knows he’d cancel anything else to make sure he was at that art show. 

“Of course, Little Man.” Buck tells him. Buck may not have had the perfect dad, or even a halfway decent one, but he knows what a father should provide for his kids. Buck thinks back to his own childhood sometimes at night and thinks about what he would’ve liked his parents to be like. Buck strives to be like his imaginary parents. If Buck could pick one thing that Christopher knew for certain about Buck it would be that he’d always  _ show up. _

Buck remembers the art shows when he was younger. When he was six or seven, Maddie would come to them. She would marvel at his art and ask him questions about it, just like he wished his parents would, and it would be enough. Buck’s heart would feel warm towards Maddie in what he now can recognize as gratefulness. He felt happiness that he could depend on her to show up. But then she moved away, and though Buck doesn’t blame her for it, he didn’t have anyone to show up for him anymore. He sat through middle school band concerts alone, the other kids pointing out to their friends their parents in the audience. In fact, Buck had to quit band because the tuba was just too heavy to carry the mile from his house to the school for his concerts. At his graduation, Buck walked across the stage with no one in the crowd to cheer him on, and that was the moment he knew that if he ever was lucky enough to have a kid or two, he would always  _ show up _ . 

Christopher puts a hand to Buck’s cheek. “Thanks, kid.” He smiles to his Buck, who smiles back. Chris’ gaze lingers, eyes scanning over Buck’s features, and Buck starts to feel self conscious in front of the boy. The nine year old stares into Buck’s eyes, inquisitive and puzzling before he asks, “Is something wrong?” Buck can see Eddie swallow hard out of the corner of his eye. Buck opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out.

“Buck had a tough day today, Chris.” Eddie answers on behalf of Buck, who still isn’t sure what to say. What would he even tell Chris? The kid doesn’t need to know about Buck’s sorry life. Chris looks up at Buck, presumably for answers, but Buck doesn’t give him any.

Instead, Buck says “But now I’m with my favorite people, so my day is much better,” and Chris accepts it. “I think I need ice cream after dinner, though.” He adds, and Christopher nods enthusiastically.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If sex stuff isn't for you, that's basically all this chapter is! You can totally skip it and it wont effect the story at all! :) Thanks for reading.

Buck knows that he’ll have to face the issue with his father eventually, but the next morning, waking up in Eddie’s arms, he wants to lay like this forever. Buck doesn’t even open his eyes for a few moments, nuzzling into Eddie even closer and letting his fingers run against Eddie’s hip, feeling the bare skin there where his shirt is ridden up. When Buck finally lets his eyes flutter open, he’s surprised to see that Eddie is looking at him.

“You’re awake.” Buck murmurs, and Eddie runs a hand through Buck’s curls. 

“I brought Chris to school. Figured I’d let you sleep.” Eddie says, and Buck looks at the clock next to them. It’s almost ten oclock. Buck hasn’t slept this late in years. He sums it up to exhaustion from the emotional few weeks and the comfort of being in Eddie’s arms. 

“Have I ever told you I love you?” Buck groans, feeling thankful Eddie let him catch up on sleep.

“Yes, but I like to hear it.” Eddie grins, and Buck can’t help but grin too.

“Stay right here.” Buck tells him with a twinkle in his eye, and Eddie peers at him cautiously. “Seriously, don’t move.” Eddie throws his hands up to declare that he’s listening to Buck, and he watches as Buck goes into the bathroom. Eddie hears the toilet flush and then the sink run a minute or so, and he assumes Buck’s brushing his teeth. Thinking about how lucky he is to have Evan Buckley, Eddie lays on his back and looks up at the ceiling, assuming Buck’s coming back to lay with him for a while. 

When Buck opens the bathroom door again he’s looking at Eddie with what can only be described as mischief on his face, and Eddie laughs. “What’s going on?” Eddie asks, and suddenly Buck’s striding to the bed, throwing a leg over Eddie and straddling him before Eddie can say anything else. 

Eddie lets out a groan thats  _ embarrassing,  _ but he can’t even find any words to apologize. It’s almost automatic that he twitches and he’s sure Buck can probably feel him growing hard underneath him. Buck can, in fact, feel him, and it’s driving him crazy. 

Buck takes a minute to study Eddie’s face, looking up at him with so much trust

and wonder and his pupils are dilated and it’s the most beautiful sight. Buck places a hand on the bottom curve of Eddie’s neck and lets the other one cup the side of his face, letting his thumb stroke over Eddie’s thick eyebrow. Buck feels Eddie grab onto his waist, fingers digging into the skin there almost painfully hard, and Buck can’t help but smile. 

“I’m gonna kiss you now, yeah?” Buck asks, waiting for permission, and Eddie honest to god  _ hisses _ out a ‘yes, please,’ and that’s all Buck needs before he leans down and kisses Edmundo Diaz. 

It’s different than Buck had thought. Buck has spent many nights in his room wondering what it would be like to kiss Eddie. He thinks it’d be rushed and frantic and maybe they’d feel like they were doing something wrong. But it’d be hot and it’d be amazing and there wasn’t a night that Buck thought about it where he didn’t end up moaning Eddie’s name. But this is nothing like that. This is warm and slow and feels like home and there is nothing better in the whole wide world, Buck is sure of it. He wants to take his time, wants Eddie desperate under him. Buck feels comfortable at the idea of them taking their time, because for the first time in his life, Buck is sure there will be more time in the future.

Eddie lets Buck lead them. Buck is sure this is Eddie’s first kiss with a man, and the thought of that is exhilarating. Eddie lets Buck kiss him softly and gently before Buck finally sweeps his tongue across Eddie’s lips, and his lips part so fast that Buck chuckles against Eddie’s mouth. Eddie tastes like coffee and those chocolate muffins from the bakery near Chris’ school. When Buck runs his own tongue against Eddie’s, he doesn’t feel like it’s a fight for dominance. They’re simply working in unison, tongues dancing between them. Buck pulls back only for a quick breath and Eddie follows him, biting on Buck’s bottom lip, and Buck loves that. 

Finally, Eddie’s hands start to roam Buck’s body, and Buck knows Eddie well enough to know he probably had been working up the courage to touch him further while they were kissing. Buck wants Eddie to know he won’t break under his touch, and hopes he gets the message across by taking Eddie’s hands and pressing them firmly to his chest, breath hitching in his throat when the pad of Eddie’s thumb brushes across one of his nipples. 

Buck realizes for the first time that he’s achingly hard, focused before on nothing but tasting Eddie. Once he realizes the familiar fire in his belly, he chases the feeling, grinding against his partner. Eddie lets out a strangled groan, and it’s the most erotic sound Buck’s ever heard. Buck breaks them apart and Eddie looks like he’d die if they stopped right then, but Buck doesn’t look at him for long before he sinks his teeth into Eddie’s neck. Sucking on the soft skin there, he tries not to feel smug when Eddie ruts his hips up against Buck. 

“Oh my god, Buck.” Eddie sounds absolutely wrecked and they’ve barely done anything yet. “Your hands are so  _ rough.” _ Eddie says it out of astonishment, and Buck wonders if Eddie is freaking out about making out with a guy for a split second before Eddie adds “Want you to touch me everywhere.” And that’s enough for Buck, who rolls off of Eddie and lets his groin press against the side of Eddie’s hip, kissing Eddie’s shoulder before letting his hand slide into Eddie’s sweatpants. 

“Holy fuck.” Eddie curses as Buck wraps his hand around him. “This is gonna be over embarrassingly fast, man.” Buck’s going to tease him later for calling him ‘man’ in the bedroom, but right now he just grins, grinding against Eddie’s hip like a teenager as he strokes Eddie slowly.

Eddie’s a solid six or seven inches and even though Buck can’t see it, he knows under the grasp of his hand that it’s thick. Buck guesses that he’s about an inch or two longer than Eddie, but he can tell that Eddie is much, much thicker. With that guess, Buck decides that he’d really like to look at Eddie’s dick, and tells him that, Eddie letting out a laugh breathlessly. 

“I think we’re wearing way too many clothes.” Buck says, and Eddie wholeheartedly agrees, tearing Buck’s shirt off with one clean motion. Eddie’s eyes trail down Buck’s chest, and Buck knows exactly how he feels. They’ve seen each other shirtless before, but they’ve never been able to marvel at each other like this. Eddie sits up to take his own shirt off, and then slides his pants off. Buck toys with the string of his sweatpants, but he stops, unsure if it’d be too much for Eddie on his first time with a man. 

“Jesus, Buck, I’ve seen a dick before, come on.” Eddie tells him, and Buck pulls down his sweats, and can’t seem to find his breath when Eddie looks at him like he’s starving, with so much want and lust that Buck’s ears are ringing. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Me?” Buck asks, and then widens his eyes for dramatic effect. “I’m in bed with a Greek God.”” He tells Eddie, and the comment gives them just enough time to catch their breath before Buck straddles Eddie again. He grabs Eddie’s hand and Eddie’s sure he’s going to put his hands on his waist but then Buck pulls three of Eddie’s fingers into his mouth and  _ sucks _ and Eddie’s never done anything remotely this hot. Buck wraps his other hand around the two of them, undersides pressed together, and Eddie can no longer function. It’s too much, Buck is going to literally kill him. This seems like a pretty good way to go. Buck is fucking his hand, and the slide of them together is out of this world. Eddie’s watching the way Buck’s eyelashes flutter and the way his mouth moves around his fingers and suddenly Eddie can’t take it anymore. 

Overcome with want, and knowing he’s going to cum soon if he doesn’t do something, Eddie flips Buck onto his back, and Buck grins.

“I knew you’d take charge eventually.” Buck winks, and Eddie rolls his eyes. “Hey, as hot as this all is, I’d kind of like you inside of me before tomorrow.” Buck tells him, and Eddie’s brain short circuits only for a second before he nods, swiftly opening the drawer next to him, pulling out lube and a condom, trying not to look desperate. Buck is watching with a smirk on his face. 

“Stop looking at me like you don’t think I know what I’m doing. I’ve spent years watching gay porn, Evan.” Eddie tells him, and wow that’s hot, but doing it is another thing. 

“I haven’t been fucked in years. Sometimes I do it myself-” Eddie chokes out a weird noise, a mix between a moan and a whine, “But it’s not the same. You’ve gotta- go slow, okay?” Buck asks, and Eddie nods, he wants to make this as good for Buck as he can. Putting a drop of lube on his finger, Eddie cautiously runs a finger around Buck’s rim, and takes delight in the fact that Buck shivers. He presses one finger, curiously, and Buck whimpers, already starting to push back on Eddie’s finger. Before Eddie knows it, he’s three fingers in and Buck’s fucking himself back on him, and Eddie feels like a fool for going without this for so long. 

“Please, baby, oh my god, Eddie.” Buck sounds destroyed. Eddie rips the condom open with his teeth, and lets his eyes sag shut for a second as he puts it on. 

Fire in his belly, Eddie takes a second to curiously reach out and let himself curl his fingers around Buck’s length. It feels sort of like his own, but different. It’s heavy and thick and the fact that Buck is so hard for him is almost enough for him to cum right there. He feels like he’s floating, the only thing grounding him is Buck in his hand. But then Buck’s pleas draw him back into his body, and Eddie wastes no more time. 

The last time Buck had sex with a man was when he was in his early twenties and it was in the bathroom stall of a club. The man was attractive enough and his dick was just the right size for Buck to take him easily, face pressed into the door of the stall. The man had thrust into him, nothing gentle about it, no asking if Buck was okay, just pure rough sex. The event was over decently fast, clearly more like a job, and Buck couldn’t help but feel used after. 

This is completely different. As Eddie slides into him, he waits for Buck to grind out a ‘move, please,’ before he does anything, and Buck knows how hard it is to wait when the tight heat is encompassing you. Buck is torn between wanting to watch Eddie’s face or letting his eyes shut to really feel him. He chooses to shut his eyes for a brief moment while he centers himself. Buck reaches his fist up to his mouth and bites down on it to avoid making an embarrassingly loud sound, and Eddie almost immediately pulls it out.

“Stop.” Eddie tells him, and Buck hopes Eddie doesn’t notice his dick twitch at being told what to do. “I want to hear you.” Eddie says, and he doesn’t have to tell Buck twice. Soon Buck is practically screaming to the point Eddie almost worries the neighbors will hear and draws Buck into a kiss. When Eddie’s hand wraps around Buck’s dick, firm and so  _ big, _ Buck knows he’s done for. Eddie can sense it and starts moving faster, and then Bucks eyes are shutting and he’s cumming between them.

“Oh my god.” Eddie groans, and out of habit tries to pull out, but Buck wraps his legs around Eddie’s waist, holding him there.

“Wanna feel it.” Buck murmurs, and that’s enough, Eddie’s cumming with a growl. 

“That was the hottest thing I have ever experienced.” Eddie tells Buck when the two catch their breath. 

“That makes two of us, baby.” Buck adds, and for a second he thinks about the longing he’ll feel in his tummy when he never feels this again, and then grins, burying his face in Eddie’s neck when he remembers that this is his forever. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!! Leave any suggestions you have or anything you want to see happen!

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asks, wrapping his arms around Buck when they find themselves back in bed that night, and Buck lets his eyes shut, half from the pain of remembering his childhood and half from the safety of Eddie’s arms, which is an odd combination. 

Buck’s never told anyone the full story of his childhood before. He isn’t even sure that Maddie knows the full story. Secretly, he hopes that Maddie doesn’t know it all. He likes to think that she wouldn’t have left him there if she knew. Buck isn’t sure he wants to tell Eddie. He knew he could trust Eddie to keep his secrets, but he doesn’t want Eddie to know how damaged he is. What if Eddie thinks that Buck can’t be a good partner or a good dad and leaves him?  _ He loves me,  _ Buck reminds himself. 

“Um,” Buck starts, and he’s not even sure where to begin. Eddie waits patiently and strokes a hand through Buck’s hair, not pressuring him to continue telling the story. “I just want to let you know, that I’m different now. I- I’ve grown up, and I’m a man now and I’ve put all of this behind me. Most of it.” Buck tells him, and he doesn’t want to look at Eddie’s eyes to see if Eddie believes him. Buck goes into the story of his childhood, telling him all about his life as a young boy. 

Buck hadn’t always had a tough childhood. When he was little, he lived with his grandfather, and Buck was pretty sure that man had hung the moon. His grandfather lived on a big farm in Pennsylvania and Buck loved it there. If Buck thinks hard enough, he can still feel the soft grass under his feet as he ran barefoot through the field. There were cows and chickens and horses and Buck never felt lonely surrounded by life. His grandfather was the best, and took him fishing and to the movies and out for breakfast every Saturday morning. Maddie lived there, too, and Buck loved spending time with her. Unlike most big sisters, Maddie was never too cool for Buck, and Buck thinks that his earliest memory is perched on Maddie’s hip while she shows him how to brush the horse’s hair. He must’ve been about four, making Maddie seventeen. Maddie went to college in town that Fall, so even though he still saw her a lot, they didn’t live together anymore. 

Buck’s parents were travelling the world. That’s why he didn’t live with them. His father had made all of the right investments and they didn’t need to work, travelling to different countries and exploring the world. Obviously, that would be much harder with a small child. So they left Buck with his grandfather, and Buck really didn’t know his parents so it didn’t feel like much of a loss. 

When his grandfather died Buck was five, and he was shipped to move in with his parents, who were not happy about having to settle down and raise a child. Buck’s mother was a kind woman with sweet brown eyes and a smile that looked like honey and Buck liked her a lot. She smelled like vanilla and would hug him when he was scared. She was a good person, Buck never doubted that growing up, but she wasn’t a good mom. She didn’t know how to be a mom. Her own mother had died when she was young and her father never remarried. Buck’s grandfather loved his daughter fiercely, but he didn’t know how to nurture a small girl while dealing with a farm. Buck was lucky that by the time he moved in with his grandfather the older man had retired, having all the time in the world to devote to Buck. As Buck grew older, he felt more and more resentment towards his mother. He didn’t need a mom who baked him homemade cookies and brought him to the park every afternoon. He just wanted a mom who made him a priority, just a small one. His mother couldn’t do that, and often found herself on month-long journeys across the globe, not quite ready to give up her travelling days. But the most, Buck resented Cynthia Buckley because she didn’t stop his father. 

It started pretty manageable. Richard would throw a passive insult Buck’s way, and it would sting, but Buck could deal with that. Buck tried, really, really hard to be the kind of son that Richard wanted, so Buck would take the insults and try to change based off of what Richard said. When Richard called Buck ‘slow,’ Buck started to read furiously to try to educate himself. When his father called him ‘chubby,’ Buck went on runs even as a nine year old. Buck wanted his dad to be proud of him or at the very least recognize him as a decent human. 

But Buck never got that. And what’s worse is the comments got physical. A shove here, a push there. Once Buck was left in the basement as a punishment for three days (he thinks, if he remembers when the sun rose and set correctly,) when he talked back to his father. It never really went beyond that. Except for one night. Buck’s parents were supposed to be out to dinner and a movie with their friends. They were supposed to be gone all night. Buck had invited his friend Roger over to watch a movie. He liked Roger, maybe a little too much. Roger was sweet and offered him half a sandwich when Buck didn’t have money for lunch. He had picked up Buck’s books when the taller boy had dropped them in the hallway once. Also, Buck would be lying if he didn’t feel a flutter in his stomach when Roger smiled at him, his cheeks almost always going red. Buck didn’t have much of a crisis about it, he just knew that he felt the way about boys that most of his friends felt about girls. And so when Roger leaned over halfway through the movie and kissed Buck, he grinned against his mouth and cupped Roger’s face with his hands. They didn’t do anything more, just a few tender kisses, taking a few seconds every minute or so to pull away and smile at each other, giddy at their first kiss. Buck looks back fondly on that. When people recall how terrible their first kisses were, Buck can’t relate. Roger was sweet and kind and so were his kisses.

But then Richard and Cynthia got home. With the movie loud, Buck hadn’t heard them come in through the garage, but he heard his father’s cough to make his presence known echo like gunshots through the house. Buck pulled back from Roger softly, still slightly dazed from the kissing, and immediately looked down at the floor. 

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m Cynthia, Buck’s mom. I think you should head home.” Cynthia said not unkindly, but Roger didn’t have to be told twice, reading the situation. 

“I’ll, uh, call you, Buck.” Roger said, and nodded in acknowledgement to Buck’s mom. 

As soon as Roger was out the door, Richard turned to Buck, face red. 

“Stand up.” He told Buck, who immediately was on his feet. “I can handle you being not very bright and lazy, but a  _ fag? _ ” He had spit the word, and Buck remembers feeling the tears gather in his eyes. 

“Richard,” Cynthia started, and Buck thought maybe, just maybe, his mom was going to stand up for him, but his dad put an abrupt hand out to his mother.

“Not now, Cynthia. Go to bed. I’ll deal with this.” And maybe Buck imagined it, but it looked like his mother had tears in her eyes as she looked at Buck softly before walking away into the hallway. 

Buck remembers the first punch. The way his father couldn’t seem to control his rage as he swung at his son. Buck remembers his father mention something about ‘beating the gay right out of him,’ and Buck remembers how his father dragged him right to the floor, screaming, ‘such a pussy- can’t even fight back.’ Buck remembers the taste of blood in his mouth, but that’s the last thing Buck remembers from that night. 

When Buck woke up the next morning, his father made no mention of the previous night. His mother didn’t comment, either. The only reminder that the night before had even happened was the way Buck’s face bruised, and how his body ached. And Buck never wanted to feel that way again. So when Roger called him a few days later, suggesting they go out for ice cream, Buck swallowed his tears and tried to keep his voice even as he said “I’m sorry, man, I think I gave you the wrong idea.” That’s when Buck started dating any and every girl that threw interest his way. And there were a lot of girls interested. Buck tried to ignore the hurt look on Roger’s face across the hall when Buck made out with his girlfriend at his locker. When Buck glanced at Roger’s face a second time, he realized that it might not be hurt, but instead pity. 

Buck couldn’t wait to leave Hershey. He longed for the day he could flee. Luckily, Richard Buckley never really touched him again more than an occasional shove, but Richard still was full of negative complaints about his son. At first, Buck had reminded himself that he was a good kid, but eventually, Richard’s comments rang true in Buck’s mind. Buck was too slow, too weak, too emotional, too  _ gay. _ And so the first opportunity he saw to leave, he took, buying a one way ticket to California and never looking back. There, he promised himself that he’d be a new version of himself. He’d be smart, he’d be brave, he’d be a hero. Buck worked hard to show people that he was good enough. Even though he still had doubts about himself, Buck liked to think he had done a good job for the most part of proving that he was likeable. That’s why it hurt so much when the people at the station cracked jokes about him being dumb or too friendly. It didn’t take much to send him back into his teenage years, constantly wondering if he was enough. When that happens, Buck tries to remind himself that he’s a different person now, he’s a man now, and he’s  _ good. _ Buck still struggles to open up to people, and he’s never told anyone his whole story. 

So that’s why, after Buck tells Eddie practically everything, Buck can’t help the fact that he’s sobbing. He’s crying because he’s afraid Eddie will agree with his father. He’s crying because he misses his grandfather. He’s crying, because he’s afraid Eddie will think he’ll turn into Richard and not let Buck see Chris anymore. Buck’s not even sure all of the reasons he’s crying, but he just feels so  _ heavy. _ When he thinks about it, that’s not all Buck feels. He also feels  _ light _ , like a huge weight’s been lifted off of his chest, and it’s a weird thing to have both of those feelings at once.

Buck turns up to look at Eddie, realizing that his eyes have been shut the whole time, and he’s surprised to see that Eddie’s weeping, too. The tears are streaming down Eddie’s face, and Buck immediately starts wiping them. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Buck tells him. “I’m sorry.” He repeats, and Eddie lets out a strangled choking noise before pulling Buck so tight to his chest it almost hurts.

“You’re amazing, Evan.” Eddie finally gets out. “I love you. I’m sorry you went through that. You didn’t deserve it, any of it.” He assures Buck, who has his face pressed against Eddie’s pec, breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent on the t-shirt. 

“I’m not him, Eddie. I promise Christopher’s safe with me. I don’t want you to think I’m not capable of watching Chris because I-” Buck starts, and Eddie pushes him away, grabbing his face and making sure that Buck is looking directly in his eyes.

“Evan, I would never take Chris away from you. I meant it when I said there’s no one I trust more with Christopher than you.” Eddie cuts him off, and Buck believes it when Eddie says it, his eyes fierce and his tone assertive. “You deserved a way better father, but I know that your shitty dad didn’t take away your ability to be a great one. Buck, you are the best person I could’ve ever imagined raising a son with.” The statement make’s Buck’s heart blaze, because it makes him feel like Eddie thinks of them as a team. One unit raising a child  _ together. _

“I would give my life to protect him. I would never lay a hand on him, ever.” Buck sobs at the end of his sentence, the thought of anyone hurting Christopher like that making his insides twist. 

“I know, Evan. I know. I promised I’d always have your back, and I meant it. I want you to know that nothing you say will ever scare me off, okay? I appreciate you telling me everything.” Eddie tells him, and Buck nods, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s forehead. 

“I love you.” Buck murmurs against Eddie’s hair, running a hand through his thick dark locks. “You and Chris are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.” Buck tells him, and Eddie wraps a protective arm around him as the two get into a comfortable sleeping position.

“Ev, you never have to find out.” 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to create some drama. So sorry for this lol. Things will get worst first but they will get better. Leave a comment! Thanks for reading. :)

Buck doesn’t go back to his own apartment for three more days. Quite frankly, he never really wants to go back and Eddie doesn’t want him to either, so he only goes back to collect some of his stuff. His lease is up in a month, and it’s quickly been decided that he won’t be renewing it. 

When Buck goes to unlock the door, he’s surprised to find it already unlocked. It’s not completely unlike him to forget to lock the door in a hurry, he supposes, so he isn’t really worried as he swings open the door. When he opens the door and finds his apartment turned upside down, his heart starts to pound. Jumping back out into the hallway quickly and shutting the door, he curses under his breath before pulling out his phone.

“Athena.” He’s glad she picks up on the second ring. “Someone broke into my apartment,” He informs her, and she instructs him to not go in before she gets there. Luckily, she was nearby and arrives within minutes. She has her hand on the gun in her holster, and even though Buck’s terrified, he can’t help but smile at what a badass she is. 

“Move, Buckaroo,” She’s got her police voice on, and so Buck doesn’t argue about going in with her, stepping back further into the hallway. What feels like a year goes by before she’s walking out. 

“It’s all clear in there. Come in with me and tell me if you see anything missing.” The two walk in the house and Buck leads her straight to his room, to the back of his newly disheveled closet, where he reveals a clearly tampered with safe box. The safe is open and the contents are missing. 

“Someone got in it.” He says, defeated, and she looks at him softly for a moment before her face turns stoic, whipping out a notepad and falling back into her officer role. 

“They knew the code?” She asks, confused for a second, before adding, “Evan Alexander Buckley, do not tell me the code to your safe is your birthday.” Buck grins at her sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, before the grin slides off his face.

“So it’s someone who knows me.” He feels hurt, before he remembers. “My father’s in town. He uh, he knows I have some money saved.” Buck is suddenly sure it’s his father, and can’t help it when he mutters “That prick.” 

“How much money was in there, Buck?” Athena chooses not to comment on the fact that Buck’s own flesh and blood most likely broke into his apartment, because if Athena’s learned anything the past few years it’s that blood does not equal family. 

“Most of it’s in the bank.” Buck tells her, and she can’t help the sigh of relief she lets out. “But I had put about ten thousand dollars in there for emergencies.” Athena’s eyes practically bulge out of her head. The most surprising part is that Buck doesn’t seem all too worried at the fact that thousands of dollars were just stolen from him. “I had my grandfather’s watch in there, so that kind of hurts.” Buck admits. “He left my birth certificate and all of that stuff,” Buck says, shuffling through the things left in the safe. “Wait,” As Buck makes a realization, he starts to panic. “I had a folder in here, of copies of all of Chris’ stuff. When Shannon died, Eddie freaked out and gave me a whole bunch of stuff in case anything happened to him on the job. It has a copy of his birth certificate, his school forms, paperwork from the doctors-” Buck is in a full blown panic. Athena knows enough to know that Buck’s father is not a good man, and she has a bad feeling in her own gut about him taking Christopher’s folder. She tries not to show it to Buck, and he looks at her, worry evident on his face. “What do we do?”

“First, we call Eddie, and we tell him not to let that boy out of his sight.” Athena tells him, and Buck is dialing the number with shaky fingers before she finishes the sentence. 

  
  


Buck and Athena are at Eddie’s home within ten minutes, Buck trying to look less affected for Christopher’s sake. Eddie is pulling up to the house at the same time they are, having picked Christopher up early from school. 

“Bucky!” Christopher shouts when Buck jogs over to pick him up out of the truck. “Dad says he missed me so I got out of math class.” Chris exclaims, joyfully oblivious to the situation at hand, and Buck presses a kiss to Chris’ curls, grabbing his crutches and placing him on the ground. Buck and Eddie share a worried look, and Buck is praying that Eddie isn’t blaming him for this. 

“Well aren’t you lucky.” Buck grins as Chris walks next to him into the house, Athena talking to Eddie quietly behind them. 

“I’m gonna call Maddie.” Buck tells the two adults, and Eddie nods, taking Chris into his bedroom to play so that Buck can talk freely in front of Maddie without Christopher hearing. Athena feels awkward for a fleeting minute before she sits next to Buck at the kitchen table, placing a hand on top of his for support. “Hey, Mad.” Buck starts, and he physically feels relief flood over his body at the sound of his sister’s voice. “Can you come over to my- Eddie’s house?” Buck asks, and Maddie is immediately demanding to know what’s wrong. “Dad’s here. In town, I mean. And I think he broke into my apartment. Money is missing from the safe-” Athena watches as Buck blinks, listening to whatever his sister is saying. “No, it was only ten thousand.” Athena wonders exactly how much money Buck has, but she knows that that’s none of her business. “That’s not the issue, Maddie. He left all of my info but took a folder I have of Chris’ information. Everything is in there, where Chris goes to school, Chris’ medical information. I have a copy of his birth certificate, everything.” Buck fills her in, and whatever Maddie says next has Buck shaking. “Yes, it has Christopher’s picture in it.” 

Buck is beyond uncomfortable with his father having so much information on Christopher. He doesn’t even want to think about what his father could need it for. As soon as Buck hangs up with Maddie after her promising she’s on her way, he turns to meet Athena, and the look in his eye makes Athena’s stomach fill with worry for the boy she considers like a son. 

“If he so much as _looks_ at Christopher the wrong way, I _will_ kill him.” Buck tells her, and the fact that he looks the most serious Athena’s ever seen him scares her. Buck says it like it’s a promise, and Athena knows that Buck is not one to break a promise. In a strange way, it’s endearing. Buck’s fierce desire to protect Christopher- Athena knows this as an emotion only a parent can have. In that moment, Athena realizes. All of the teasing, all of the joking about Buck, Eddie and Christopher is true. The three are a family, and Athena recognizes in that moment that it’s an official thing. 

“You’re of no use to Chris if you’re in jail.” She offers after a moment, trying to have her best ‘mom voice’ on. She hopes Buck will listen. “Christopher needs you, and you can’t help him if you’re behind bars.” 

At that moment, Eddie is practically sprinting into the kitchen. “I just got a call from Christopher’s school.” Eddie is breathless, and Buck is by his side before Athena can even blink. “They called me because someone showed up claiming to be Christopher’s grandfather. Said he was there to pick Chris up and that me and Buck had been in an accident at work. They obviously called because I had already picked Chris up.” Buck’s stomach drops to his toes, and Athena is dialing her unit for backup in an instant. 

“It’s gotta be him, Thena.” Buck is on the verge of tears, and Eddie doesn’t look that far behind him. It’s clear that Richard Buckley is behind this. “We gotta get Chris out of here.” Buck wants to take the young boy in his arms and move to New Guinea. He can’t think straight, but Buck knows that he needs to have Christopher in his grasp. So he bounds down the hallway, and can’t help the strangled scream that comes from him when he opens Chris’ door and sees his crutches on the ground, the window wide open, and no sign of Christopher. 

“Christopher?” Buck is screaming, and he tries to push away how familiar his voice sounds to that day on the pier where he spent hours searching for Chris. “Christopher?” He’s desperate. There’s no way Chris managed to get under the bed but he checks anyway. Frantically, he’s checking each room in the house, Eddie and Athena running to see what the commotion is. 

“He took him!” Buck yells, ripping open closet doors and practically kicking in the bathroom door when it sticks a little. “Chris isn’t here, and the windows are open.” Eddie’s face is stoic, and Buck can physically see Eddie calculate in his head all of the ways to murder Richard Buckley. Athena is talking to someone on her radio, and Buck can hear the panic in her voice when she announces _‘There’s a missing child. We suspect Richard Buckley of kidnapping nine year old Christopher Michael Diaz,’_ She keeps talking, but Buck’s no longer listening because _Maddie._

His older sister flies into the house, and Buck is embracing her before she can make out what’s going on. 

“Dad took Chris.” Buck notifies her, and it’s then he realizes that even though his body feels like a million degrees, he’s shivering. “That bastard took him.” He follows his previous statement and a shocked gasp rips through Maddie.

“He’s not going to hurt him.” Maddie tells Buck as police swarm into the house. The room is filling fast, but Buck doesn’t tear his gaze away from Maddie’s warm brown eyes. “He won’t hurt him.” Maddie affirms, but it sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. 

“Eddie,” Buck is reeling, stumbling into Eddie’s grip. “I’m sorry.” Buck feels drunk. He can’t stand straight. “I’ve fucked everything up, I never thought he’d find me.” Buck tells him, and Eddie nods.

“I know, Buck. Don’t be sorry, this isn’t your fault. We’re gonna find him, baby.” Eddie assures him, and if the circumstances were different, Maddie would make a point at Eddie calling Buck ‘baby,’ But truth be told, Maddie can’t even breathe, let alone crack a joke. 

It feels like hours of police questioning them. Eddie’s handing over pictures and Buck’s giving them information about Chris’ medical state, Maddie watching helplessly as her brother and the man she is starting to love like a brother go through what must be the worst moments of their lives. Athena is buzzing around the room, handing out orders and making calls. 

Buck’s phone rings from an unknown number, and the room goes _silent._ “Buck, put that on speaker.” Athena commands. With shaky hands and sweaty palms, Buck answers the phone. 

“Dad?” He tries not to sound nervous. 

“Evan.” It is his father. “How are you?” His dad asks, and Buck tastes blood. 

“Cut the shit, Dad.” Buck starts, but Athena puts a hand on his arm, signalling with her eyes to play along with his father. 

“Aw, son, that’s not very nice.” Richard chastises, feigning hurt, and Buck notices that Eddie’s sweating. “Can’t a father just want to catch up with his son?”

“Where’s Chris, Dad?” Buck demands to know, and Richard chuckles. 

“I wouldn’t hurt him, Evan. He’s pretty cute, for a cripple.” Richard tells Buck, and even though Buck has rage seering through his veins, he just prays that Christopher didn’t hear Richard use the term. “Leave it to you to find yourself a retard son, huh Evan?” Buck lets out a silent sob, chewing on his fist, not wanting his father to hear how affected he is. Athena is rubbing her hand up and down his back, and he focuses on that. Nice. Warm. Motherly. 

“Dad, what do you want?” Buck doesn’t comment on his father’s statements.

“Maybe I just want to spend time with my grandson, Evan.” Richard plays coy, and then continues. “You know, I lost the house last year. My investments all went under and I didn’t have the money to keep it. You would’ve thought my only son would check in once or twice a year, see how we were doing. See where he could help. But you’re so fucked up you never called once in ten years.” Richard tells him, and even though Buck _knows_ his father is the bad one here, Buck wonders if he should’ve called to check in. “All that money, Buck. You got all that money from Grandpa, and you didn’t think to help your poor old parents, pay them back for raising you all those years?” Richard sounds hurt, and Buck can’t help but feed into his father’s mind games, falling right back into his trap. 

“I’m, I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry, I’ve been selfish.” Buck feels small again. If he had been a better son, Christopher wouldn’t be in this mess. 

“Well, now you can make it up to me.” Richard tells him, and Buck blinks back the tears stinging his eyes. “And maybe I’ll let you see Christopher again.”

“Don’t you lay a finger on him.” Buck watches as Athena writes something on a piece of paper. _Keep him talking. Let’s move. We’re tracking his phone._ Buck stands, and lets himself be guided into a police car, driving with sirens off. Eddie’s in the car behind him, with Maddie, and Buck wishes they could be closer. “I’m sorry, for abandoning you guys. I should’ve helped more.” 

“I can forgive you, Evan. We should hurry this up, though. Chris is falling asleep.” That makes Buck’s blood run cold. 

“What did you give him?” Buck asks, and Richard chuckles, a sound that cuts Buck’s core. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just Benadryl to knock him out. I’m not a monster.” Richard Buckley is, in fact, a monster, but Buck knows now isn’t the time to argue that. “Listen, I’ll cut to the chase here. I’ll give you Chris back, but I want 150,000.” Athena goes to open her mouth, but Buck doesn’t let her whisper anything to him. 

“Done. It’s yours.” Buck tells him. 

“Good boy. I knew you were smart deep down.” In some twisted way, Buck feels himself warm with the compliment. But then he shakes it off. Evan Buckley does not need validation from Richard, the worst man he’s ever known. “Wire the money to me, and I’ll bring Chris back.” 

“You know I can’t do that, Dad.” Buck expresses. “Where are you? I’ll bring the money and you can give me back Chris.” Richard hesitates for a few seconds. 

“No cops, Evan.” Richard mutters. 

“No cops, sir. I promise.” Buck squeezes his eyes shut. “Just me.” He affirms, and Richard rattles off an address. 

They’re there within a minute, and the cops park down the block.

“Buck,” Athena turns to him, peering into his eyes. “Please, for the love of God, Buck, stick to the script.” She knows her begging is useless, that the second Buck sees Chris her words will mean nothing, but she feels a little better saying it. 

Buck walks the quarter mile to the building, trying to calm himself down. It’s an abandoned general store, Buck knows some of the local kids spend their days spray painting it. He takes a deep breath before pushing open the back doors, assessing the seemingly empty room before he calls out a “Dad?” 

“We’re back here.” Richard responds, and Buck braces himself for whatever may be behind the door that’s marked ‘staff only.’ He prays Christopher is alive. When he sees the boy, sleeping on a desk, he knows that Christopher’s been drugged with more than Benadryl, but he actually finds himself thankful that the boy isn’t awake to see any of this. 

“I have the money.” Buck states, coming eye to eye with his father, truly, for what’s the first time in over ten years. “Put the gun down, no need.” Buck says, because Richard Buckley has a gun pointed to Buck’s head. 

“Yeah right, Evan. And let you escape without paying me?” Buck can’t help the laugh that bubbles through his lips. Paying. His dad is demanding _payment_ from him. 

“Let’s talk this out.” Buck tries, but Richard shakes his head.

“Just give me the damn money, Evan.” Richard starts, and then narrows his eyes at Buck. “You do have it with you, right, because I’d hate to-” Richard turns the gun towards Christopher, and ringing throughout the neighborhood is Eddie’s blood curdling scream of “No!” when a gunshot rings out through the general store.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood doesnt make a family- love does. Leave a comment! xoxo.

“Eddie, Eddie, stop,” Athena is sprinting after Eddie, and she catches him, but he practically flings her off as he’s running into the store. “Eddie, we can’t have two of you shot,” She’s begging, other cops following them, Maddie on their toes, but Eddie isn’t listening. He’s barging through the staff only door. 

Buck’s standing before him, trembling, covered in blood. Buck’s shaking, his hands out in front of him like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “I- I-” Buck can’t form any words as he hugs Christopher’s limp body to him, Eddie wrapping his arms around both boys as he realises any blood on Buck isn’t from either of them. 

“You’re okay. I love you. I love you.” Eddie’s chanting it, kissing Buck’s hair and face and Christopher’s sleeping eyelids. “We’re gonna be okay. I love you.” His voice is hoarse. 

Maddie screams when she walks in the room, Athena quick to pull Maddie into her own arms. On the floor is the dead body of Richard Buckley.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. He pointed the gun at Christopher, and I- I just reacted so fast.” Buck’s distraught, and lets out a dry sob. “He was going to shoot us. He had no intention of letting us out of here alive.” Buck is sure of it. “I had to. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He’s screaming it now, and Athena can’t help but reach out to the boy she views as a son, an arm full of Maddie. 

“You did good, Buck. It’s okay. You won’t be in trouble.” Not if Athena has anything to say about it. This is a classic case of self defense and she’s willing to put her career on the line to fight it if she has to. “They have to take Christopher to the hospital now, boys. Buck, you should get checked out too, you’re probably in shock.” She says softly, and Eddie is the only one that responds, carrying Christopher like a small child in his arms and trusts Athena to guide Buck out. 

Buck has had some pretty bad days in his life. When his father beat him. When he was crushed by the fire truck. The tsunami. However, this is by far the worst day of Buck’s life. 

“Athena, Christopher-” Buck says, feeling disoriented and trembling. “Where’s Chris?” He turns to her, almost like he’s going to run back into the building. 

“He’s with Eddie, Buck.” Athena tells him calmly, though inside she feelings like sobbing. “Look, they’re putting him in the ambulance right now. He’s safe.” She points to a few feet ahead of them, where Eddie is climbing into the back of the ambulance. There’s a matching one next to it for Buck. 

“Don’t leave me alone, hm?” Buck asks, his eyes feeling heavy. He thinks he may fall over, and then does stumble a few feet. Athena’s small but she’s strong, and she stops him from tripping. 

“Of course not, Buckaroo.” Athena promises.

“Call Bobby? Please.” It sounds like a beg, nervous and small. 

“I’ll have him meet us at the hospital, baby.” She tells him, letting two paramedics help Buck on to a stretcher. 

  
  


When Buck wakes up, he’s in a hospital room. He gasps for air. He feels like a fish out of water. He’s not quite sure why he’s there for a second, but then it all comes rushing back to him. 

“Mom?” He doesn’t think before he says it. It’s the first thing out his mouth when he sees Athena sitting in the chair by his bed. He doesn’t feel well enough to be embarrassed. Athena’s face floods with many different emotions, and Buck can’t read them all. He sees some worry there, some relief.

“Buck.” She rushes to his side, putting her hand on his. “Maddie and Bobby went to get coffee- they haven’t left all day, they’ll be right back.” The news makes him feel loved. Bobby and Maddie had sat there all day for him?

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Buck whispers, voice feeling hoarse. “How’s Christopher?” Once an image of the little boy fleets through his mind, it’s all he can think about. “And Eddie. Is Eddie mad? Does Chris remember anything?” Buck’s head is pounding. 

“Chris doesn’t remember anything.” Athena tells him, and Buck thanks whatever God is up there. “He says a nice man told him that he was your dad and that he had an adventure for him. Did say that the man accidentally tripped and fell carrying him into the store. Doesn’t remember anything else and is only sad he didn’t get an adventure. Thinks he’s in the hospital to check him out from the fall. ” Athena smiles, stroking her hand through Buck’s hair. Buck can’t help but lean into her touch. 

“You know, right?” Buck asks, and she tilts her head, confused, so he continues. “That Eddie and I are together.” And she nods.

“I really didn’t… I thought it was all just a joke. Then I saw the two of you today, and I knew.” She tells him, and he’s silent for a second.

“Are you... upset?” He’s cautious, because he’s not sure his heart will keep beating if Athena turns her back on him now. “That I’m… That I’m gay.” He whispers, and her eyes look hurt.

“Scooch.” She orders, pushing him over on the bed and pulling him into her arms like he was a small child. She never got to hold him as a baby, but she could hold him now. “You’re my son, Evan Buckley. I only care that you’re happy. The only thing I wish is that you had been comfortable to tell us.” Buck lets out a sob that he didn’t know he was holding back, tears running onto her shoulder.

“Was afraid. Don’t have a very good track record with people knowing.” A laugh rips through him, but nothing’s funny. Athena can imagine what he means by that. “Never said it out loud before. Please, um, don’t tell Bobby or Maddie, please?” He asks her. “I am going to tell them. I don’t need to hide it anymore. But, I want it to be me, okay?” He asks, and she nods. 

“Of course, Buck.” She tells him. She pulls away, gently leaving the bed, and Buck is sad for a second before looking up at the door. Maddie’s there, and Bobby too. He’s so glad to see them. Maddie is the only person in the entire world who might have an idea of all of the emotions flying through his head. Bobby’s the closest thing he’s ever had to a father and he needs him there.

“Evan!” Maddie’s face is bright and cheerful. Buck’s surprised by that- he thought she’d be devastated. He hopes she isn’t putting on an act for him. “I’m so glad you’re awake.” 

“Mads, you aren’t mad at me?” He asks, his face twisting in confusion. 

“Buck, no.” She shakes her head, pulling a chair up to his bed and sitting in it. “I’m… I’m sad, I guess. Not sad that Dad’s dead.” He winces. “I know what an awful man he was. I’m sad that I don’t have a reason to be sad, If that makes sense.” She tells him, and he gets it. “I’m sad that you’re going to live with this guilt for the rest of your life. But you did the right thing, Buck. If you didn’t act first it’d be you and Chris in that morgue.” The words send chills down his spine. The mention of Christopher again makes him feel antsy, desperate to get to the young boy. 

“Chris- can I see him?” He asks, and Maddie frowns.

“Unfortunately they’re only letting family in because he’s a minor and they’re still questioning him.” She says gently, and his heart skips a beat.

“I am family.” He states, and she makes a face he can’t quite read. 

“I know, Buck. But right now it comes down to his legal family.” She explains it to him tenderly, like the comment might break him. 

“Um,” Buck suddenly feels awkward with Maddie and Bobby’s eyes on him. This wasn’t how he wanted them to find out. “I am his legal family.” He tells her, avoiding her and Bobby’s gazes and looking down at his hands. 

“What?” Maddie tilts her head, scanning his face to try to understand the situation. “What do you mean, Buck?” She presses when he doesn’t answer right away. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Please don’t be mad.” The last part comes out in a whisper. If Maddie or Bobby reacted badly, he couldn’t handle it today. “I adopted him.” He says, and Maddie makes a noise that’s not too far off from a squeak. “Me and Eddie have been together for a little bit, and we wanted to make my relationship with Chris official, you know?” He explains, and Maddie reaches out and swats at his arm. 

“I’m an aunt?” She’s joyous, her reaction surprising him for the second time that day. “Wait, you and Eddie are together? Like, real together?” She splutters, and he can’t help the grin that crosses his face, nodding. “I didn’t- Buck, I didn’t even know you- What?” She stammers, and he can’t help but laugh. 

“Now that Dad’s gone, I kinda want to officially come out, you know? I didn’t tell you because Dad wasn’t exactly on board with the whole gay thing.” It was meant as a joke, but he sees sadness flash across her face. Thankfully, she smiles after a moment. 

“Your sexuality isn’t a _thing,_ Evan.” She rolls her eyes, reaching out and messing up his hair. “I’m glad you can be free now.” And she means that, he knows it. “Let’s talk to a nurse about getting you to see Chris, yeah?” He nods. 

“Bobby?” He asks, tilting his head up to look at the man in the corner, looking for a response.

“Buck,” Bobby’s crying, and this is one of the worst things Buck’s seen in his life. 

“Oh, no,” Buck lets out when he sees the tears flowing down Bobby’s face. Before he thinks too much about it, Buck gets out of the bed and stands before Bobby. “I’m still me, you know? We don’t really talk about my sex life anyway. And, I promise I won’t make any comments, and-” Buck starts, and he’s fully ready to hop right back into the closet for Bobby. 

“Buck, I have no problem with you being gay. I’m proud you told us. It’s just- how did I miss all of this, Buck? I thought I knew you. How did I not see how broken you’ve been, Buckley?” Bobby says, and Buck feels embarrassed, looking away. “I guess I just let myself think you really were always happy because I didn’t want to see what I knew deep down was going on. I feel like some of this is my fault.” Bobby places a hand on Buck’s shoulder, firm and steadying. “But we’re gonna help you, Buck. I haven’t been there for you when you’ve needed me, but I promise you I’m never going to let you down again.” Buck still can’t look in Bobby’s eyes, and he knows his cheeks are flushed. 

“It means a lot, Bobby, thanks.” Buck tells him, not sure what else to say. 

“I love you, son.” And wow. That knocks the wind out of Buck. His eyes snap up to Bobby’s to look for any sign of a joke. Any sign that Bobby’s saying that because he feels like he has to. Buck can’t breathe. He sucks in a gasp of air, trying to fill his lungs. Bobby looks at him with concern. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry, that was too much.” Bobby apologizes and even though he can’t talk, Buck’s frantically shaking his head. 

“No,” He finally croaks out. “It wasn’t too much. It’s, it’s great. I love you, too.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm trying to upload every night but the past two nights have been crazy. So sorry guys! I'd love it if you left a comment. Enjoy!

The hospital decides to keep Buck and Christopher overnight. It turns out Bobby knows the hospital floor manager and pulls some strings, and that’s how Chris ends up in Buck’s arms that night, his hospital bed moved next to Buck’s. Buck’s stroking Christopher’s hair, singing a soft song to him, rocking him like he would a baby. Eddie thinks it’s easily the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen or heard. Eddie doesn’t know the words to the song, and Buck can’t really sing, but it makes his heart soar. 

“Hey,” Eddie eventually speaks up when Buck stops singing, leaning down and kissing Christopher’s forehead. “I think I’d really like you to marry me.” He murmurs, and Buck freezes.

“Is that a proposal?” Buck swallows thickly, blue eyes locked on brown. 

“It depends, would you say yes if it was?” Eddie asks, pulling the chair he’s sitting in closer to the side of the bed.

“Yeah, yeah I’d say yes.” Buck tells him after a second of contemplation. 

“Cool. What do you think, then? Evan Buckley, will you marry me?” Eddie asks, and Buck nods, smiling. “I don’t have a ring, I mean, I wasn’t planning on asking you for at least a few more months, but it feels right, and I-”

“Ed, why don’t you kiss me, hm?” Buck interrupts, and Eddie grins, leaning forward to press a soft, chaste kiss to Buck’s lips. 

“I love you. And I love our son. I’m so glad we found you, Ev.” Eddie says, and Buck blinks back tears. 

“Don’t make my cry- I’ve cried too much today. I love you. And I love our son.” Buck’s voice waivers on the word ‘our,’ throat heavy with tears. “Thanks for giving me a family.” Buck’s still stroking Christopher’s hair, and he looks down to admire Christopher’s sleeping face. Christopher’s too old to be held like this, really, but Chris had snuggled right into Buck’s arms, letting Buck rock him like he was a small child. Chris’ eyes had closed almost immediately, and Buck had let out a dry sob at the “Night, Papa,” that Chris had whispered before falling asleep.

Sleep found Buck soon after his conversation with Eddie, joining Chris in slumber, and he woke to a warm hand on his cheek the next morning. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Kid.” Christopher assures him, and Buck smiles. Eddie and Buck didn’t tell Chris the entire situation, but they did tell him that Buck had gotten hurt and was very sad. 

“Of course I am, Chris. I’ve got the best kid in the whole wide world around me.” Buck nuzzles into Chris’ hair, and Christopher twists in his arms to look him in the eye. 

“Did you know almonds are members of the peach family?” Chris asks, unable to contain his grin, and the silliness of the kid in his arms startles Buck, who lets out a loud snort, Eddie jolting awake in the bed next to them.

“Sorry, babe.” Buck is still chuckling, and Eddie throws the pillow at them. 

“What time is it? Is it almost time to bust this joint?” Eddie asks, and Buck sends a grin his way. Every time Buck’s ended up in the hospital, it’s been Buck who is eager to leave. “I want my boys home and food that doesn’t taste like cardboard.”

“Are those two things of the same priority?” Buck teases, and Eddie sticks a tongue out, closing his eyes again and snuggling into the pillow, though he knows there’s no way he’s falling back asleep. 

Buck feels weird. He feels weird because he feels _good._ He shouldn’t feel like this- he just killed his father. But he feels the safest he’s felt in his entire life. There’s no one that will hurt him, no one out to get him, no one to keep him from being who he is. He’s grateful for that. Buck can’t help but be happy even though everything in his brain tells him he should be sad. 

“I feel like we should get breakfast on the way home.” Buck suggests, and Chris brightens up. 

“The place with the chocolate pancake syrup?” Chris asks, and Buck grins like there’s a secret. 

“Of course, little man. Where else?” Buck wiggles his eyebrows. 

“You sure?” Eddie checks, his eyes still shut and head pressed against the pillow. 

“Yes.” Buck tells him, and he means it. He wants to spend the day with his favorite people. He is not going to let this ruin him. “If Chris is up for it?” 

“When am I not up for pancakes?” Chris asks, and Buck’s chest squeezes. God, he loves that kid. 

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Buck says it so seriously that Eddie barks out a surprised laugh, getting out of the bed to see if the nurses will let the two go home. 

It turns out the two _can_ go home, and so the Buckley/Diaz crew finds themselves at their favorite breakfast restaurant only an hour later. Chris has whipped cream all over his face from the pancakes, syrup sticky on his hands, and it’s the cutest thing Buck’s ever seen. He knows he should probably tell Chris to be careful and try to be less messy, but whether Chris knows it or not the past two days have been stressful and it’s not worth commenting on. 

“Hey, that’s my friend Liam!” Chris points to a young boy walking by the window that they’re sitting next to. At first glance, he looks a few years younger than Chris, but Eddie and Buck know that Chris doesn’t get much interaction at school with the younger grades, so Liam must be pretty close to Chris’ age. Buck immediately frowns at the fact that the child is walking down the street alone, but he tries to wipe the frown off of his face so that Chris doesn’t worry. Eddie gives Buck a look, and Buck knows that Eddie is thinking the same thing. Liam makes eye contact with Chris, and Chris is waving him into the restaurant, yelling “come in!” through the glass. Christopher does it and then thinks, turning to his parents. “Is that okay?” He asks, at least recognizing that he should look sheepish for not asking first. Eddie can’t help but laugh softly and nod that yes, it’s okay. Liam looks hesitant, but then does enter the restaurant. He slides into the booth next to Eddie, and politely puts his hand out for both Eddie and Buck to shake.

“Hi, I’m Liam.” He tells them, and Buck, always a kid lover, is immediately taken with him. 

“Hey, I’m Buck, and this is Eddie.” Buck introduces them, and Liam blushes, looking down as if the comment is embarrassing. 

“Is it okay that I’m here?” He asks, and both Eddie and Buck are quick to promise him that he’s more than welcome to join them for breakfast. 

“Here,” Eddie says, pulling Chris’ kids menu out from under his plate and handing it to the smaller boy. “Order whatever you want.” Eddie instructs, and the boy chews on his lip. 

“I don’t have any money to get anything.” Liam says softly, still avoiding eye contact. 

“Me and Buck will buy it for you. You’re a kid, we don’t expect you to have money.” Eddie bumps Liam’s shoulder with his, and it seems to be the right thing to say, because a small smile forms on Liam’s face. It’s small, and you might miss it if you weren’t looking hard enough, but the smile is there. 

The waitress comes over, and Liam tells her he’d like one pancake.

“Ah, come on Liam, get two.” Buck grins mischievously, almost as if it’s a dare. “And a side of fruit so your parents don’t get mad we fed you sugar.” Buck follows up his first statement, and tries to ignore the pulling in his stomach when Liam immediately shrinks at the mention of his parents. 

“Yeah, okay. They do like when I eat healthy. Thanks, Mr. Buck.” Liam says, and Christopher giggles at that. 

“Mr. Buck.” Christopher repeats, and then says “That makes him sound like a grown up.” Liam looks confused for a second but then catches on that Chris is joking and laughs. 

“Excuse you, mister,” Buck lets his mouth fall open in fake shock. “I’m pretty sure I control the bed time over here, so I’d watch it.” Buck warns, an empty threat, and Chris pats Buck’s cheek with his hand, Buck’s cheek getting covered in syrup. Buck dips his napkin in water and wipes his own face off before grabbing Chris’ hands and cheeks in his much larger hands and wiping them clean. 

“So, Liam,” Eddie turns to the tiny boy next to him. “Are you in Christopher’s class?” 

“No, I’m only in the third grade.” Liam tells him, “But we have recess together. We play on the swingset together.” That warms Eddie’s heart. When he had first moved to Los Angeles, he had fought with the school to put in a handicapped accessible playground. They did, and it makes Eddie happy to hear that it’s being used. 

“That’s great.” Buck speaks up when Eddie is deep in thought about the playground and doesn’t respond. “So, what were you on your way to when we dragged you in here?” Buck asks the question both he and Eddie have been wondering, and he hopes that it sounds nonchalant. Liam falters slightly, but it’s so slight that Buck thinks maybe he imagined it. 

“Oh, uh, I was going to the store.” Liam tells them, and the adults try not to look surprised that the eight year old was on his way to the store by himself. They don’t comment on it, but Christopher does. 

“By yourself?” His face scrunches up in confusion, and Liam turns red. Luckily, the moment is broken up by the waitress dropping off Liam’s breakfast. Buck and Eddie share yet another glance when Liam digs in like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. 

“Hey, careful bud,” Eddie says, putting a gentle hand on Liam’s back. “I don’t want you to choke, okay?” 

“I’m sorry.” Liam apologizes immediately, putting his fork down. 

“No, it’s okay, Liam. Just don’t want you to choke. It looks amazing, keep eating.” Eddie tells him, and Liam digs in again. 

“Hey, Eddie, don’t we need more toothpaste?” Buck says, and Eddie tilts his head, because Buck was with him a few days ago when he stocked up on toothpaste. Eddie gets it quickly though, and nods along. 

“Yeah I think we do. We can stop at the store after this and get some.” Eddie suggests, trying to seem as normal as possible.

“Cool. Hey, Liam, do you want a ride?” Buck suggests it as if he just thought of it, and Liam looks up at Buck. Buck takes a second to take in Liam’s features. He’s adorable, really, with curly brown hair that’s just a little shaggy, and piercing blue eyes that Buck thinks look similar to his own. He’s tiny and has a button nose, and Buck wants to keep him in his pocket. 

“That’s okay, I can walk.” Liam says, and Buck waves him off. 

“Nonsense, it’s no trouble. We can all drive together.” Buck hopes it doesn’t come across like they’re trying to kidnap the boy. Liam looks grateful, though, and Buck thinks it’s fine.

Liam does get in the car without a second comment, and halfway to the store says, “Thanks for the ride. It’s a really far walk.” and Buck smiles in the rearview mirror at him.

“Any time.” Buck says, and then Chris and Liam are back to excitedly chattering with one another about school. 

Eddie is driving, and reaches out, sliding his hand in Buck’s, who pulls their entwined hands on to his lap, letting their hands rest comfortably there.

“Are you two brothers?” Liam looks up and asks the adults, presumably confused at their hand holding.

“No, they’re both my dads!” Chris tells him animatedly, and Liam looks surprised.

“Oh, wow. That’s really cool to have two dads.” He says, and Chris nods, eyes twinkling. Buck and Eddie are thankful there’s nothing more to the conversation and that Liam has accepted it. It makes Buck’s heart flutter at how proud Chris is to claim him.

“Buck’s gonna grab the toothpaste, do you want help getting your things?” Eddie asks Liam, and Liam looks up at him with his wide blue eyes.

“Yeah, okay.” Liam says, as if it’s the first time anyone has offered him help. “It’s hard for me to reach things on tall shelves.” It’s supposed to be a light comment, Eddie thinks, so he smiles, but inside his stomach is twisting, because none of this sits right with him. 

“Come on boys,” Eddie says, ruffling Christopher’s hair as Liam starts to rattle off what he needs. 

The things Liam gets makes Eddie feel queasy. He gets a roll of toilet paper, some bananas, a loaf of white bread, some pasta and a can of tomato sauce. When they get to the tomato sauces, Eddie’s stomach drops when he realizes Liam is checking the pricing on all of the sauces, clearly looking for the cheapest one. 

“Hey, Dad, look,” Christopher says, pulling some dino shaped mac and cheese off the shelf with the pastas. “Can we get it, please?” He begs, and Eddie nods. 

“Sure. Liam, you should come over one night this week and we’ll make it. How about tomorrow?” Eddie suggests, and Chris gleefully agrees. Liam smiles and accepts the offer. 

Buck comes jogging up to them, toothpaste in hand. He’s also got a board game in his hand. “Look what I found.” Eddie recognizes it as a board game Chris has been telling them about after seeing a commercial for it on TV. 

“Oh, sweet.” Eddie smiles, and Chris gives a smile too, looking like his father.

“We should play tomorrow. Liam’s coming for dinner.” Chris tells Buck, who smiles. 

“Sounds awesome!” Buck exclaims, and the four make their way up to the register. 

Buck puts the two items on the conveyor belt, and turns to Liam, who is pulling out crumpled dollar bills from his pocket. Buck tries to stop a frown from crossing his face, not wanting to embarrass the boy. “Here, put your stuff on here. I have a gift card here that’s expiring today so I’ll use it on your things.” Buck tells him, a complete lie, and Liam peers at him for a moment, unbelieving, before he decides to let Buck pay for his items. Liam catapults himself into Buck’s arms, and Buck squeezes him tightly. 

“Thanks, Mr. Buck.” Liam says, and Buck grins. 

“No problem, Bud. Why don’t you go with Eddie and Chris to get the car. I’ll bring the stuff out.” Buck offers, and Liam smiles at him once again before Buck watches him run to catch up with Eddie and Christopher. 

Buck finishes paying for the items, mind swirling, and then thanks the cashier and walks out to the car. Eddie’s pulled the car up close to the door, and Buck loads the groceries in before they’re driving off. When they get to Liam’s house Buck is surprised to see that it looks like a normal family home. Buck’s not sure what he pictured the house to look like, but he didn’t anticipate it looking so pretty. He supposes that he’d figured it’d be a little more decrepit and maybe smaller. 

They drop Liam off, and Liam shouts a ‘thanks!’ and a ‘see you tomorrow Chris!’ before bounding into the house.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long!!! Thanks for reading.

That night, once Chris is asleep and Buck and Eddie in bed, the two men lay in silence for a few minutes. Buck breaks the silence, turning to face Eddie, propping his head on his hand. 

“Are you thinking about Liam, too?” Buck asks, and Eddie’s face gives away that he was in fact thinking about the small boy.

“Something isn’t right there, right? We aren’t imagining it?” Eddie questions, and Buck shakes his head. 

“I have a bad feeling, Eds.” Buck tells him. “Just not sure we can really do anything to help.” Buck sighs, leaning forward to press a kiss to Eddie’s mouth. “I love you, hm? I’m happy to be here with you. Thank you for not- for not leaving me, I guess.”

“You know I wouldn’t.” Eddie says softly, running the pad of his thumb across Buck’s eyebrow. 

“We’ll see how Liam is tomorrow, okay?” Buck says, half to Eddie and half to himself, and Eddie nods, wrapping his arms around Buck and closing his eyes. 

The morning appears way too fast. Buck’s awoken to Eddie pressing soft kisses to the side of his head and face, though, so he doesn’t quite mind it. 

“Hey beautiful,” Eddie murmurs against his temple, and Buck blushes, entwining his hand with Eddie’s.

“Morning, Handsome.” Buck counters, humming a one note tune when Eddie kisses his Adam's apple, his mouth moving to the crook of Buck’s neck. “How long do you think we have before Chris wakes up?” He looks up at Eddie, eyes blue and wide under his thick eyelashes, and before Eddie answers, they hear the sound of crutches on the hallway floor.

“To be continued,” Eddie sighs, kissing Buck’s neck one more time before swinging out of bed. Buck’s right behind him, sleepily trailing down the hallway to where Chris is in the living room. 

“Hey, Little Man,” Buck sits next to Chris on the couch and let’s their shoulders bump. “You’re up early.” He states, though Chris is almost always up early, but today they’ve made it to 7:30 am so it feels like a victory.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Chris shrugs, leaning into Buck. “I’m excited for Liam to play. I wanted it to be today.” He tells him, and Buck smiles.

“Maybe we can invite Liam to come to the park with us later. What do you think, Eds?” Buck asks over his shoulder to Eddie, who is pouring himself and Buck each a cup of coffee. Seeing Eddie methodically grab the sugar and hazelnut creamer for Buck’s cup gives him butterflies. Something as simple as Eddie knowing the way Buck likes coffee shouldn’t affect Buck this much, but it does. 

“I think that’s a perfect idea.” 

They do invite Liam to the park, and practically everywhere after that. He becomes best friends quickly with Chris, and Buck and Eddie can’t shake the feeling that he probably isn’t getting any fun experiences at home. He’s never shown up hurt or looking disheveled, though, and he’s never said anything, so it’s not like they can go barging into someone else’s house and ask about their parenting style with no evidence of anything. 

Liam spends the night most Friday nights, and they buy Chris a trundle bed specifically for Liam. On Friday nights, the four of them squeeze onto Chris’ bed as they read the two boys a story. When Liam nestles into Eddie’s side one night, Eddie’s fingers find Liam’s hair, lightly combing his fingers through. Liam’s asleep in seconds, and for some reason Eddie’s choked up. Has Liam ever felt comfort like that? Is he worrying for nothing? Eddie pushes away the longing in his heart he has for the boy. Though Liam feels like his own, Liam has his own family to go home too. A family that probably treats him well and one that Eddie’s made unnecessarily evil in his head. 

It turns out, Liam’s family doesn’t treat him well. 

Liam is over on a Tuesday night, and they’ve eaten dinner and are doing homework. Buck’s had a rough day at work. He couldn’t save an elderly man who was hit while walking down the side of the road. It made Buck sad at first, but now he just feels anger at the recklessness of the driver. Buck didn’t hear the alarm on the stove while making the meatloaf and burned it. He couldn’t help but be angry at himself, and was not in the best of moods. 

Chris and Liam laugh at each other but are committed to getting their homework done, Eddie sitting besides them on his laptop while the two work. Chris gets up to get a bin of markers they have to color their assignment with, and when he gets up, laughing with Liam, he knocks over Eddie’s drink, the lemonade spilling all over the table and onto the floor. 

“Christopher!” Buck exclaims, a little too harshly than he wanted too out of surprise. Chris looks sheepish as Buck strides over to them, grabbing a paper towel. Eddie jumps up too, to avoid getting lemonade on himself.

“Wait!” Liam all but screams, jumping in front of Christopher. “Please don’t hurt him!” He begs, and it makes the room stand still. 

Buck is the first one to recover, though his hands feel shaky by his side. 

“I would never hurt him, Liam.” Buck says firmly, to assure the boy. Chris looks between his parents and Liam.

“Why would Buck hurt me?” Chris asks, confused, and then Liam starts crying, presumably out of embarrassment and maybe a little fear. 

“Chris, why don’t you go play in your room for a minute, please.” Eddie offers, and Christopher goes to object before he realizes it wasn’t really a suggestion. Chris huffs but makes his way down the hallway, and Eddie is guiding Liam over to the couch. 

Buck and Eddie sit the boy in between them, exchanging a worried glance.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Liam tells them, looking down at his hands. “I just thought-” He shrugs, pulling on the fingers of his left hand with his right. 

“We need to talk about it, Mijo,” Eddie says softly, and Buck feels his throat filling with tears. Buck knows he will do anything needed to protect Liam. This ends tonight. Buck wishes someone had stood up for him as a child, and Buck is going to be the one to stand up for Liam no matter what. Buck is glad he has Eddie to do it with. 

“Do your parents hit you, Liam?” Buck asks. Him and Eddie know just about nothing about Liam’s family. He’s never offered any information and since Liam always seemed safe, neither of them pushed. 

“I only have a mom.” Liam tells them, voice seeming small. “And she’s a good mom. I just make her angry sometimes.” He promises, but Buck knows better than that. He remembers feeling like it was his fault, the way his parents treated him. 

“Liam, parents should not hurt their kids. Does she hurt you a lot?” Buck questions gently, and Liam pauses a moment before giving a tiny nod, eyes not meeting Eddie or Buck’s. 

“I can take it.” Liam tells them. “Most of the time it’s only because I step in front of Ava.” Liam says, like it should make the situation better. Buck’s chest tightens, realizing that Liam isn’t an only child.

“You have a sister?” He explores, and Liam for the first time turns to look at Buck.

“She’s three. You can’t tell anyone about this. Mom says if anyone finds out, they’ll separate us!” Liam’s eyes are frantic, and Buck places a hand on Liam’s shoulder to ground him, praying it doesn’t scare the boy more. Buck lets out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding when Liam takes the cue to dive into Buck’s arms, sobbing into his stomach. “Please, please!” Liam’s begging, and Buck wraps his arms around the boy, gripping him tightly. 

“Liam, me and Eddie are going to do everything in our power to get you  _ both _ out of that house.” Buck says, and he doesn’t even need to look at Eddie to know that he’s nodding in agreement. 

“They’ll make us go live far away and I won’t be able to see you guys again.” Liam cries out, and Buck shakes his head.

“Nothing will stop us from seeing each other, ever.” Buck tells him, even though he’s not sure he can keep that promise. Although he may not be right, Buck knows he and Eddie will fight tooth and nail to stay in the boy’s life somehow. “We love you.” Buck says, voice shaky, on behalf of him and Eddie, who adds in a soft ‘so much.’ 

“I wanted to tell you. I just don’t want me and Ava to be split up. Don’t be mad I didn’t tell you.” Liam lets out a hiccuped sob, and Eddie reaches out to rub the boy’s back. 

“We aren’t mad, Liam. You’re a little boy dealing with a lot of grownup stuff, and now you don’t have to deal with it alone, okay?” Eddie says, and that one is a promise they can keep.

“Who are you calling?” Liam asks, a panicked edge to his voice when Buck pulls out his phone.

“I’m gonna call a few people, Liam.” Buck says softly. “First, my friend Athena. She’s a police officer and she’s going to be able to guide us as to what to do.” He tells the boy, not wanting to scare him. “And then I’m going to call someone to come stay with you and Chris while me and Eddie go get your sister.” Buck states, and Liam looks up at him wide eyed.

“You’re going to bring Ava here?” He asks as if he never thought it was a possibility. 

“If everything works out, of course we are, Liam.” Eddie tells him, and Liam throws his arm around Eddie, too, pulling them both into a hug. “Go play with Chris, okay kiddo?” Eddie tells Liam, ruffling his hair. “We’re gonna figure this out. But you’re safe, okay Liam? I promise you that we’re going to make this all right. I’m sorry we didn’t act sooner.” Eddie apologizes, and Liam scans Eddie’s face before a look of trust crosses over him and he gets up to go to Christopher’s room. 

Buck is sobbing as soon as Liam’s out of sight, and Eddie’s pulling him into his arms. 

“We fucked up.” Buck cries, tucking his arms in between his body and Eddie’s. “Why didn’t we press into this more? We could feel it wasn’t right.” Buck tells him, shuddering, and Eddie presses a kiss to Buck’s temple.

“We know now. We’re going to make this right.” Eddie assures, and wipes Buck’s tears away. “Call Athena.” He pushes gently, and Buck pulls back to dial the number. 

She picks up on the third ring, and he apologizes for interrupting her, before she impatiently asks him what’s wrong. He explains the situation, and she tells him that she and May will be right there before she ends the call with a “dont do anything stupid until I get there, Buck.” 

Buck takes the saying to mean “once i get there, you can do something stupid.” and runs with that, because as soon as Athena, Eddie and Buck pull up to Liam’s house, Buck’s pounding on the door.

“Jessica Martin?” 

“Who are you?” Liam’s mother answers the door cautiously, opening it just a crack after seeing Athena in her police uniform. 

“I’m Buck, this is my partner Eddie, and this is Sergeant Grant.” Buck introduces them, and Liam’s mom peers at them with her ice blue eyes. They’re pretty, but iced over, and the whites of her eyes are red. 

“What do you want?” Jessica is slurring her words, and Buck hates to admit this is exactly how he pictured her- drunk and high off of who knows what. 

“Can we come in?” Eddie asks politely, and the woman tilts her head. 

“You got a warrant?” She questions, and Athena opens her mouth to talk, but Buck beats her to it. 

“We just want to talk. It’s about Liam.” Buck says kindly but firm, and the woman scoffs.

“What’d that bastard get himself into?” She asks, and as soon as she says it, Eddie has his hand on Buck’s upper hip, a silent ‘ _ play nice.’  _ Which helps, but Buck still curls his hands into fists by his side, his nails scraping into the soft skin of his palm.

“Liam’s not in trouble. Ma’am, we’ve been alerted that Liam and another child may be in danger under your care.” Athena tells her, and the woman’s eyes scan between the three strangers at the door before she, suspicious, moves to the side to let the three in. 

The inside of the house looks more like what Buck pictured Liam’s house to look like. Beer bottles littered everywhere as well as empty vodka bottles. He noticed a few of the bottles still had alcohol in them- Ava or Liam could get to them easily. There were papers all over the table, and the place smelled like smoke. 

“He tell you that? That kid’s got an active imagination.” The woman shrugs it off, and Buck uncomfortably shoves his hands in his pocket, feeling rage build up inside him. He tries to remain calm and focuses his attention on taking in the woman’s looks. 

She’s beautiful and looks a lot like Liam, with piercing blue eyes and long, curly black hair. She clearly has been using drugs for a while, and she has wrinkles across her face and bags under her eyes, but Buck can tell she was stunning. She still is, in a sad sort of way. 

“Kid’s not good at much but he sure is good at story telling.” She adds, almost like it’s meant to be a joke. 

“We- we’d like Liam and Ava to come stay with us for a while.” Eddie cuts right to the chase, and the woman lifts her head to look at him, seemingly alert for the first time since they rang the doorbell. 

“You wanna take my kids?” She asks, and Buck’s quick to shake his head  _ no _ , his hands coming out in front of him, as if to protect himself. 

“Not forever.” Buck tells her, even though his stomach swirls, because he  _ wants _ forever with Liam, but he knows that Liam isn’t his. “It takes a village, Jessica, and we want Liam and Ava to stay with us while you get help.”

“I don’t need help.” Jessica says, but her voice is shaky, and as much as Buck wants to hate the woman in front of him, he feels sorry for the broken young girl. “Just for a little while?” She asks, playing with her fingers and shyly meeting Buck’s eyes. 

“Yes.” Buck assures, and both he and her have tears in their eyes. He wonders what caused Jessica to become like this. He knows easily that with his background, he could’ve ended up in her position. “Until it’s safe for them to come back. Because right now, Jessica, it isn’t safe.” He reasons softly, and Jessica doesn’t say anything. 

“Okay.” She nods after a moment. “What do I have to do?” 


End file.
